Monday, September 13, 2010

Making a Beginning

Karthik, my son, has been after me to start this Blog for a long time. I have suffered writer's cramp for a long time and a combination of inertia and boredom kept me away from starting this Blog page for some time. Today my friend Chari called up to say that he has started writing his thoughts and didnt know how to start a blog page and I advised him what to do with out having ever done that myself before!!! That is me who can visualise solutions to any problem with out having done that before!! And that goaded me to make a beginning by first registering this blog page and call it by its name "Srini's Musings"..Nothing original about it and when u think about it as common to most of us..we all love to muse but very few dare to write their musings down for all to note what they are!! I am trying with this Blog page to simply write down my thoughts as they come and I have no illusions that it will be reaching out to a large audience either. But in every posting I hope to focus on one thought that is crossing my mind strongly at that point on anything under the earth or over it!!!

So why did I decide to write this today..yes the ambivalence I feel about my beliefs and behavior. Well this is not uncommon for most of us. But I am always caught between the contradictions between the two and I am always rationalizing that what I do in public is for others and what I believe in private is for me. Well even that is not new for most of us; we do have this dilemma and each of us do find a way to deal with it with out causing any dissonance in us. But my dilemma is I have a constant dissonance arising out of this which keeps disturbing me when my beliefs are transgressed by my behavior and then I start the internal process of rationalizing as a way out to get out of this dilemma till once again I get into this situation another time. The question that I am asking is why should I continue to keep this facade going..and how long should I be doing it and if i decide to get out of this dilemma would I be hurting myself or others close to me!!! Good question and I think there wont be a simple answer for this. If there is one then we would not live with this dilemma all our adult lives since this conflict starts when u reach early adult hood and continues rest of your life!!!

Till Next time Bye


  1. Srini..many thanks for a reference to me in your first blog.. Great one

    My first thoughts on reading the blog was that you had got it all wrong !! I am the one with the seem to speak your mind so clearly , so agressively , so quickly , where is the dissonance? I am the one who plods on in the world living for others , scared of uncertainty and seeking the comfort of material comforts.
    Is it dissonance you have or is it a desire to change your lifestyle somewhat and wondering whether you would be accepted after all these years !!

  2. chitappa...i agree with the previous comment...ur a straight beating around the proverbial bush for you...dont change !

  3. here's to the beginning! We would like to hear more- dish it out.

    the daughter

  4. Srini,

    Granted that I do not know you at the personal level to comment. But what I see is an internal conflict between your behavior and beliefs. That should actually not be. Since your beliefs are the welfare of the people around, let your behavior flow naturally with that. When the beliefs are proper and the intent is good, you will not hurt anyone, intentionally or otherwise. Yes, some people may feel hurt at times, but through constant association, they would understand you and the feeling will get dissipated. They will admire and respect you for who you are.

    They will learn to see the world through your eyes also and that would be a wonderful sight. So believe in that and move on. You will not face a conflict henceforth.

    Remember one point though, no matter how much you mean well for others, there will always be atleast one person who will not see it that way. Best is, ignore that and move on with the bigger purpose you have in life.

    And let us play bridge this Sunday at the FMC - 9AM.