Karthik, my son, has been after me to start this Blog for a long time. I have suffered writer's cramp for a long time and a combination of inertia and boredom kept me away from starting this Blog page for some time. Today my friend Chari called up to say that he has started writing his thoughts and didnt know how to start a blog page and I advised him what to do with out having ever done that myself before!!! That is me who can visualise solutions to any problem with out having done that before!! And that goaded me to make a beginning by first registering this blog page and call it by its name "Srini's Musings"..Nothing original about it and when u think about it as common to most of us..we all love to muse but very few dare to write their musings down for all to note what they are!! I am trying with this Blog page to simply write down my thoughts as they come and I have no illusions that it will be reaching out to a large audience either. But in every posting I hope to focus on one thought that is crossing my mind strongly at that point on anything under the earth or over it!!!
So why did I decide to write this today..yes the ambivalence I feel about my beliefs and behavior. Well this is not uncommon for most of us. But I am always caught between the contradictions between the two and I am always rationalizing that what I do in public is for others and what I believe in private is for me. Well even that is not new for most of us; we do have this dilemma and each of us do find a way to deal with it with out causing any dissonance in us. But my dilemma is I have a constant dissonance arising out of this which keeps disturbing me when my beliefs are transgressed by my behavior and then I start the internal process of rationalizing as a way out to get out of this dilemma till once again I get into this situation another time. The question that I am asking is why should I continue to keep this facade going..and how long should I be doing it and if i decide to get out of this dilemma would I be hurting myself or others close to me!!! Good question and I think there wont be a simple answer for this. If there is one then we would not live with this dilemma all our adult lives since this conflict starts when u reach early adult hood and continues rest of your life!!!
Till Next time Bye